My husband makes me feel safe. He is not jealous of my relationships with other people. He trusts me completely. He is proud of me. He holds me in the night. He makes me tea when I am cold and sometimes just because. He talks to me. He compliments me.

With him I am never afraid. He stops when I say no. Even when he is trembling and hard as a rock. When I say yes he is gentle and ardent and overwhelms me; I sometimes lose my senses. He laughs at my goofy jokes. His eyes light up when he sees me. He doesn’t blame me or bring up my past mistakes, he believes that I am trying to change and work on my issues. He is trying to change and work on his own issues. He tells me I am a great mom. He is a great dad. He listens to me.

We are a team. We makes plans together. We both know we’ve messed up our money and we’re getting it together as a team. We discuss our parenting and we present a united front to our kids. We like to be together, after 11 years we still have plenty of things to say to one another. We support each other in all that we do. He reads my work and tells me I am a good writer. He smells my feet after I go running and tells me he loves me anyway. This makes me laugh every time. He sometimes cleans up after himself, sometimes not. Either way he doesn’t hassle me about housework. I no longer hassle him about housework either/

He holds me when I cry. He hardly ever cries but when he feels sad he leans into me and I hold him tight. We can tell each other anything; dreams, nightmares, fantasies and fears. Sometimes I take off my clothes and look in the mirror and feel flabby and gross and ashamed of my body. Then I turn around and he says WOW you are fine and I look back in the mirror and see Yes indeed I am the fine woman I see reflected in his eyes.

He is my rock. He feels like my home.

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