I was with my husband for 3 years and had a child by him before I married him. During that time we had friends and family hinting, telling, even downright urging us to marry. Part of me did not want to marry just because so many people were trying to force it on me. Part of me wanted to do the best thing for the security of my family. Ultimately for our situation legal marriage beat cohabitation hands down. But we did it quietly at the courthouse with one witness, because it was way economical and because I didn’t want to seem like I was giving in to pressure about my relationship. almost 8 years later and having been to various weddings of friends and family I now see the cultural importance of weddings/commitment ceremonies.

When we weren’t married I would cite the current divorce rate to people pressuring me to get married. I would also tell them that after 2 failed youthful relationships that resulted in children I wanted to be sure this relationship would last before I married him. I also asked them why it was so important to them that I marry. The answers I received were often surprising and illuminating and truly made me ponder our relationship and living situation from different angles.

This blog entry written by Trula. Thanks for visiting Brian and Trula: A Marriage!

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