The other day Brian said something to be that really, really hurt my feelings. We were watching this comedy show that talked about the various racial stereotypes among women, i.e Asian women and white women being more submissive than black women in relationships. I said to Brian, well that’s not true, you can’t get more submissive than I am. I said this because I tend to be very submissive to Brian in most things; he definitely is the head of our household. So imagine my surprise when he said, Well, you can get a little feisty sometimes.

What???

Feisty?

Me, feisty?

I was floored, because I don’t consider myself feisty at all.  But the more I thought about it, the more I could see how some of my words and actions could be misinterpreted this way. I do have a very thin-skin; I’m very sensitive and easily hurt and often feel I have to defend myself. So what to me seems like a perfectly reasonable response to something that triggers me negatively, may seem to others like an over-reaction. I think I am just defending myself but to others I just look ‘feisty’ and like I’m ‘going off’. Truly, this is something I need to work on. It starts with improving my self esteem so that I don’t get my feelings hurt so easily. I also need to keep reminding myself that I can choose how I respond to things, both in word and deed.

I feel I’ve grown a lot in the 13 years we have been together, but I recognize that I have a tremendous amount of growth to undergo. As does Brian. but we have to each work on our individual issues within ourselves.

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