A friend asked me what would my top ten marriage tips for hippy DIY culture couples trying to live an ethical, spirtual, down to earth life be. This includes couples with children! and while living in a materialistic world. When I started thinking about it, I realized this was not going to be a short list because there is so much I want to say about all of them! So I will break them down. My tips really are all equally important, and basically apply to all types of couples/marriages, but since this is a top ten list I’ll number and order them. Starting from the bottom, my number ten tip is:

#10. Treat & respect your spouse as you would a friend.
Brian and I started out as friends. We knew each other and hung out socially together for quite some time, eventually becoming very great friends. We didn’t begin dating until we had been friends for about a year and a half. I would say that having that foundation of friendship has truly been a strength in our marriage. Now I realize that many couples do not start out as friends, they start out dating. Even in relationships such as mine, once the relationship becomes romantic and sexual that changes the dynamic of the relationship. Both physical and emotional intimacy has a way of lowering boundaries in how we relate to another person. You may become so comfortable with your spouse that you feel you can say or do anything. Contrast this with how you treat your friends. You don’t just say anything to them, you take into account their feelings. Right?

Sometimes with our spouses we forget this, and talk and/or treat them in a disrespectful manner. This includes being uncommunicative, surly, even grumpy and rude in the morning. I say to you, if you growl at your spouse in the morning and then go out into the world and speak pleasantly to your friends, co-workers, even total strangers, then you’ve got it backwards. Your spouse deserves your cordial, respectful treatment before others. Ideally you’d treat everyone with respect but if you’ve only got one smile in you that day give it to the person who loves you and has comitted to you for life. You do it for your friends, so do it for your spouse.

This helps with kids because not only does it help create a more happy and harmonious household, but shows them how to value and prioritize a partner. next tip: Mutual Ethics & Values

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