Brian & Trula » Arguments http://www.brianandtrula.com A Marriage Sat, 25 Sep 2010 15:20:35 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.3 Personal Growth in Marriage http://www.brianandtrula.com/2009/08/personal-growth-in-marriage/ http://www.brianandtrula.com/2009/08/personal-growth-in-marriage/#comments Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:40:10 +0000 Trula http://www.brianandtrula.com/?p=147 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> The other day Brian said something to be that really, really hurt my feelings. We were watching this comedy show that talked about the various racial stereotypes among women, i.e Asian women and white women being more submissive than black women in relationships. I said to Brian, well that’s not true, you can’t get more submissive than I am. I said this because I tend to be very submissive to Brian in most things; he definitely is the head of our household. So imagine my surprise when he said, Well, you can get a little feisty sometimes.

What???

Feisty?

Me, feisty?

I was floored, because I don’t consider myself feisty at all.  But the more I thought about it, the more I could see how some of my words and actions could be misinterpreted this way. I do have a very thin-skin; I’m very sensitive and easily hurt and often feel I have to defend myself. So what to me seems like a perfectly reasonable response to something that triggers me negatively, may seem to others like an over-reaction. I think I am just defending myself but to others I just look ‘feisty’ and like I’m ‘going off’. Truly, this is something I need to work on. It starts with improving my self esteem so that I don’t get my feelings hurt so easily. I also need to keep reminding myself that I can choose how I respond to things, both in word and deed.

I feel I’ve grown a lot in the 13 years we have been together, but I recognize that I have a tremendous amount of growth to undergo. As does Brian. but we have to each work on our individual issues within ourselves.

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]]> http://www.brianandtrula.com/2009/08/personal-growth-in-marriage/feed/ 0 Cold Pissed At Brian Today http://www.brianandtrula.com/2009/01/cold-pissed-at-brian-today/ http://www.brianandtrula.com/2009/01/cold-pissed-at-brian-today/#comments Sun, 11 Jan 2009 04:17:41 +0000 Trula http://www.brianandtrula.com/?p=67 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> Very upset with Brian all day long today. It started yesterday, I had a terrible time driving in the snow. I saw a car spin off the road and saw several other cars on the side of the road while driving home during a bad snow storm. I got badly frightened and broke down in tears. I could barely see because of the snow, plus I was nearly out of gas, and just plain scared I’d get in a car crash.

I calmed myself down because I couldn’t see through the tears and the snow, and thank god I made it home ok. I raged at Brian for causing me to live here (do NOT get me started on how he went back on his promise to move to Cali back in ’00). He just listened, looking alternatively guilty and bored. Then he just hugged me, and went back to watching some game. I was so angry at him! I still feel bitter, and have been mean and/or whiny toward him all day. I’ll give him credit for being patient with me about it, but that’s the least he could do since he refuses to move.

This blog post written by Trula. Thanks for visiting Brian and Trula: A Marriage!


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