Brian & Trula » Helping Each Other

Through Thick & Thin

Trula — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:02:30 +0000

We have had a really rough year. Not so much our marriage, but by things that happened to us, including a miscarriage I suffered in September, a mental breakdown I had earlier in the year, the flu that we both had and also the kids got, and most recently our son Todd was hospitalized for a sudden lump that appeared in his neck that turned out to be an infected lymph node. Through all this I have been struck by my husband’s strength and resilience. He has been my rock, ever steady and strong. Even when he himself was sick with the flu, he was focused on making sure everyone else was ok. When Todd was in the hospital he took off work multiple days to stay with him, and helped calm me down from getting hysterical and distraught that my baby had to go to the hospital.

He has been very patient and kind about my mental health issues, and throughout the nightmare of my miscarriage he did everything he could to console and comfort me. He listened to me pour out my heart and soul about what I was feeling; my grief and despair. I do not know how or why I have been given the gift of this man, but I am thankful. Brian’s empathy and compassion has been a balm and solace to me this year.

We started out friends, and it is great to know he is still a friend to my heart. Brian deeply loves me, and I carry his love with me where ever I go. I love him so.

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Personal Growth in Marriage

Trula — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:40:10 +0000

The other day Brian said something to be that really, really hurt my feelings. We were watching this comedy show that talked about the various racial stereotypes among women, i.e Asian women and white women being more submissive than black women in relationships. I said to Brian, well that’s not true, you can’t get more submissive than I am. I said this because I tend to be very submissive to Brian in most things; he definitely is the head of our household. So imagine my surprise when he said, Well, you can get a little feisty sometimes.

What???

Feisty?

Me, feisty?

I was floored, because I don’t consider myself feisty at all. But the more I thought about it, the more I could see how some of my words and actions could be misinterpreted this way. I do have a very thin-skin; I’m very sensitive and easily hurt and often feel I have to defend myself. So what to me seems like a perfectly reasonable response to something that triggers me negatively, may seem to others like an over-reaction. I think I am just defending myself but to others I just look ‘feisty’ and like I’m ‘going off’. Truly, this is something I need to work on. It starts with improving my self esteem so that I don’t get my feelings hurt so easily. I also need to keep reminding myself that I can choose how I respond to things, both in word and deed.

I feel I’ve grown a lot in the 13 years we have been together, but I recognize that I have a tremendous amount of growth to undergo. As does Brian. but we have to each work on our individual issues within ourselves.

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Why Would I Ever Underestimate Him?

Trula — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 01:39:00 +0000

Today Brian helped me a great deal with some bookstore stuff; I had a lot of running around to do what with getting some more bookcases and going back and forth the store. I had myself all worked up into a ‘woe is me, no one wants help me’ frame of mind but felt too proud and stubborn to ask him for help. But he stepped up and helped me without my saying a word, it was really sweet.

This blog entry written by Trula. Thanks for visiting Brian and Trula: A Marriage!

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